Fun Isn’t Optional

An “Aha” Moment with Horses

“This is supposed to be fun.” Those words, spoken in an arena with Rocky, a striking black-and-white Gypsy Vanner horse, hit me harder than I expected. Somewhere along the way, I had written fun out of my story. Horses are helping me find it again.

Today I’m sharing a personal “aha” moment I had in an equine-assisted learning space.

In the fall of 2020, I signed up for an immersion internship at Strides to Success. It was the first big step I’d taken toward pursuing equine-assisted learning as a vocation. My son was 3-years-old at the time, and making the 35-minute drive to Plainfield, IN was harder on my heart than I expected. I had been a stay-at-home mom his entire life, and suddenly, for a week, I was leaving early in the morning—sometimes without seeing him—and coming home late, sometimes after bedtime.

He was in good hands with his dad and my in-laws, and I knew it was temporary. But it was still a leap into the unknown. I was pretty sure I wanted to do this “horse thing,” but until then, I hadn’t experienced this niche of horsemanship in real life.

The goal of immersion week was to soak up wisdom from experts in the field, observe lessons, and learn about horse handling. And while I gained knowledge in all of those areas, one hour of the week stands out the most—because, without me realizing it, I became the student in a lesson.

The executive director of Strides, Debbie, was teaching me how to lunge a horse at liberty. She chose Rocky, a young, striking, and expressive Gypsy Vanner. We started with a lunge line and talked about communication through pressure and release. Before long, I was being coached on how to ask him to move around me in a circle without a line. This wasn’t his first rodeo, but it was definitely mine.

Then we added play elements—a giant ball, stop mats, cones. I was on a steep learning curve. Yes, I had horse experience, but this was brand new. As we wrapped up, Debbie asked how I was feeling. Tears sprang to my eyes before I could stop them.

“Stressed,” I admitted.

She smiled gently and reminded me, “This is supposed to be fun.”

Fun? I wasn’t here for fun. I was here to learn, to study, to become a professional. I could have fun later, right?

Except—here’s the catch—I wasn’t planning to have fun later either. Somewhere along the way, I had written “fun” out of my story altogether. As a high-achieving student, a “Midwest nice” people-pleaser, and a young stay-at-home mom, fun had fallen completely off my list of values.

Can you relate? Do you measure the success of your day by how many items you check off your to-do list? Do you push hard to meet your goals—then barely pause to feel good about them before moving on to the next thing?

I’m not sharing this story to say I “used to be like that” and now I’ve found the cure. Truth is, I’m still like that. I haven’t figured out how to shut off the voice in my head that says, keep going, don’t rest.

But here’s what horses have given me: a quiet interruption. A small, steady reminder that whispers—have fun, and enjoy the ride.

So I’ll ask you—how are you making space for fun? What are you looking forward to? I’d love to hear. 🖤